19th January 2020 Dear Dom. Mustique. Oh how my old housemaster would have loved it there, if only he could have curtailed his twice weekly felching trips to Soho. “Semper quivering, boy, semper quivering…never forget!” He’d whisper in the snug in the ‘Nanny and Spanker’ in rain soaked Windsor. After the election, a jolly oldContinue reading “Mustique Musing”
Author Archives: Lance Goodman
Rachman is not dead.
I have often wondered how I can make a few quid, legally. The obvious answer is to ‘flog my bottom’ to the highest bidder, to someone who promises to take good care of my buttocks and the associated orifice which, I should hasten to add, I would not include in the contract. Being a ‘manContinue reading “Rachman is not dead.”
Cry God for Harry…!
There are times when one would like one’s partner to take a little bit more notice. Everyday life is full of the mundane, and the necessary, and often with very little glamour. There might be something important going on but the drudgery and the distractions of little things are apt to blind us to realities.Continue reading “Cry God for Harry…!”
Radio 4 Listeners
Radio 4 is a channel on the BBC which features a relatively wide variety of mainly talk programmes. I assume it had its origins when the BBC took seriously its remit not only to entertain, but also to educate and inform. It is a channel one switches to when one reaches the age at whichContinue reading “Radio 4 Listeners”
Most of my friends are failures…
Useless buggers, the lot of them. First of all they failed to be born to very rich parents. I don’t mean the sort of ‘rich’ people who can shop in Waitrose…I mean the sort of rich people who probably own Waitrose and most of Argyll and Bute. The sort that call their personal concierge doctorsContinue reading “Most of my friends are failures…”
Life is a box of…
Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, Esq, owner of Wessex and the little village of Much Smattering in the Cotwolds, has announced that the annual thrashing of the peasantry working on his estate, will now take place in full public view on Much Smattering’s village green. To date this little known event has been unreported save for aContinue reading “Life is a box of…”
Kernow
In a surprise move today the inhabitants of St Micheal’s Mount have declared Independence from Cornwall, in what they call a Kerexit. The new country of ‘Kernow-on-Sea’ will be created and passports issued to those citizens that have sentience, a bit of cash stashed away, and all of their toes. It is rumoured the passportsContinue reading “Kernow”
Trains don’t stop…
Clouds of billowing white steam engulfed the stoically waiting passengers standing on the platform, as the black face of the engine emerged through the swirling mists and smoke. The loud hissing accompanied by short squeal of metal brake on metal wheel sliding the whole train to a gentle stop. The 1930’s was the golden ageContinue reading “Trains don’t stop…”
Spingo?
As the sun sets slowly over the clear sea blue horizon in the West, the tin mine faeries emerge from the inky blackness of the old worn out shafts of Penwith, blinking into the twilight. They hold candles powered by starlight, and they dance as light as a dragonfly’s wing from one fern to theContinue reading “Spingo?”
Looking After Your Ring. 