Author Archives: Lance Goodman

“If this desert’s all there’ll ever beThen tell me what becomes of me.A fall of rainThat must have been another of your dreamsA dream of mad man moon”. (Genesis – Mad Man Moon from the Trick of the Tail album) “Tempus Fugit”, one might say if one had been ‘blessed’ with an Etonian education. OrdinaryContinue reading ““I’m coming home, I’ve done my time””

Once upon a time there was a village idiot and everyone knew who he was. He’d be the one pushing hard on the field gate, sweating profusely at the effort and mumbling cuss words only to see Farmer Giles walk across the field and pull it open. Or he’d be strolling down the country laneContinue reading “On Stupidity”

Saudi Arabians are a very polite people. They smile a lot, especially when they greet you in the mornings. The reason for this, I found out, is not because of some genetic predisposition towards bonhomie, nor is it because they are just glad to be alive, having lived for centuries in a climate that isContinue reading “This is My Cornwall”

As I write, civilised men are driving tanks trying to kill me. The descendents of Tchaikovsky, Kropotkin and Solzhenitsyn no more want to do this than set fire to their vodka soaked nasal hair. I rather suspect that they’d rather stay in bed drinking and playing chess until their pants fall down. And yet, thereContinue reading “Things Can Only Get Better”

Everyone knows that many people native to this wind blown, rain sodden, brass monkey scaring, pastoral idyll known as Britain……like to drink. We don’t have to look very far (outside the window is enough) or ponder for very long (about a minute) to think of reasons why. Until the advent of double glazing, central heatingContinue reading “The History of the Pub”