“…. ‘and take the bastard with you’ was reportedly his last words during the requiem mass. And now over to Tim for the weather….Tim, will I need a jumper today….?” “….thank you Samantha…and no, I don’t think you’ll need that cable knit sweater today…in fact I don’t think you’ll need much clothing at all becauseContinue reading “And now for the weather…”
Author Archives: Lance Goodman
Illogical Logistics
“Your parcel will be delivered today between 13:45 and 14:45, your driver, Jason, will call you with an update. Not in? Please arrange an alternative delivery date”. This is an automatic message no doubt generated by software that knows everything about you, because it is listening to your innermost secrets, dreams and peccadilloes. The ruthlessContinue reading “Illogical Logistics”
Culture Clash?
A Cornishman would no more refuse a pasty than pickle his penis in potassium. There is only one possible answer to the question “Pasty, ur no?” if asked of a Trevaskis, a Polglase or a Penberthy. We all know the ingrained antipathy of the Western Celts towards those who’s natural bent is to reach forContinue reading “Culture Clash?”
“That’ll Do”
“That’ll do”. This is a fine maxim to live your life by, if the ‘that’ in question is a fine single malt whisky and the ‘do’ is an extra large Islay being poured freehand in the hotel bar after a long day roaming the heather strewn glens and the high misty tops of the rainContinue reading ““That’ll Do””
“…and what do we have ‘ere then…?”
“Is your mother in?” “er…why?” “You know why” The voice emanated from deep within the silhouetted shape standing in the doorway, the sunlight behind him momentarily blinding me to both the owner of the voice as well the realisation that I might be what is colloquially known as ‘being in the shit’. I had answeredContinue reading ““…and what do we have ‘ere then…?””
5.In Out Sheik it all about
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-tr368-104d4bf Travelling to the EU used to be easy, now we have joined the rest of the world requiring visas. Travelling around the Middle East is a taste of what we will experience. in this episode I try to get to Bahrain from Dubai while lamenting the increased paper work involved in all travel.
Sod’s Law
There are many laws that govern the universe, oversee the etiquette at high table and one’s personal hygiene routine. Some are useful in the right places if applied in the right order. It is a good thing we have laws against bribing politicians, driving recklessly while inebriated and against public masturbation…even if the monkey didContinue reading “Sod’s Law”
Carbis Bay News – Sir Jason Retch More
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ceiti-1038d12 Following the recent electoral success of the Aristocracy, new village entertainments have been announced.
Cornish Exit ‘Kerexit”
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-5g6ft-1032f02 News that St Micheal’s Mount voted to leave England.
Peace and Security
“…can I see the original..?” The whole world is living in interesting times. For millions that ‘interest’ has led to sickness, misery and death. It has resulted in running out of oxygen, pressure on critical care beds and nurses in tears after a long hard shift helping people merely to breathe. Doctors and nurses inContinue reading “Peace and Security”
Looking After Your Ring. 